Assisted Procrastination

Below is an actual conversation I had with a friend today. Names have been changed to protect anyone who might be offended. Mostly because after a conversation like this, people might not want to be publicly associated with me.

Me:   what are pocket squares?
Friend:   Really?
Me:   You’re making me feel like that woman at lunch who was told by the waiter that he liked the colors in her hair. . .
Friend:    pocket square
Me:    OH! Handkerchiefs! Pocket squares?? Really?
Friend:    Yep
Me:   I use ass squares in the bathroom.
Friend:   LOL
Me:   I feel like some kind of an idiot, but only because someone out there decided to call these things “pocket squares” as if that sounds sophisticated and I had no idea.I wear foot tubes with my shoes.
Friend:    Don’t feel like an idiot. You should almost be proud.
Me:    I know about their existence. It’s the name that’s killing me. It’s as bad as calling women’s underwear “squirrel covers”
Friend:    LOL
Me:    Like, really?? Someone thought this was smart? You know it was some butler just effing with the rich asshole who employed him and everyone just went along.

Seriously?? “Pocket Squares” is really what we’re going with here? As a society, we can’t be so ignorant that not only has the original purpose of the “pocket square” been lost, but also the original name has been abandoned in favor of a matching idiotic term as well. And no one else feels like a fool for using this like it’s a term of art? I think we need a Change.org petition to get this fixed. Who’s with me on this? We can even use my “Flashy Picture Box” to cast our votes!