Assisted Procrastination

1. Stores have no legal right to detain someone just because their alarm sounds when a person exits.

2. They also have no right to search your purchases or belongings without the customer’s permission.

3. Something in my purse sets off the sensors at stores like Best Buy and most of the stores in the mall.

4. Short of spending time testing each individual item in my purse, I can’t figure out what’s causing it. I’m choosing to blame my iPod, but refusing to leave it behind.

5. I also don’t feel like “fighting for my rights” when entering or exiting stores during the holiday shopping season.

6. Timing my entrance and exit of such stores to coincide with the exit of someone carrying a store bag not only saves me an argument with a minimum wage rental cop, but also provides enough entertainment to make me smile on the inside.

7. My parking karma is still quite effective, allowing me to park in the closest, non-handicap, covered parking spot at the mall on a snowy Saturday afternoon.

8. Trips to the car to stash bags and return to shopping also provides ample entertainment during an otherwise laborious and chilling task as incoming cars await excitedly for my primo parking spot, only to be waved away because I’m not yet departing.

9. Online holiday shopping with home delivery of packages rocks.

I wish you all a wonderful and entertaining holiday season!