Archive for February 2008

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You know who you are . . .

February 28, 2008

This is an oldie that always makes me smile. Thank you to Mom. Everyone else, please enjoy.

True Friendship

1. When you are sad — I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey.

2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile — I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused — I will use little words.

7. When you are sick — Stay away from me until you are well. I don’t want whatever you have.

8. When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsiness.

~~~~~~~
Friendship is like peeing your pants,
Everyone can see it,
But only you can feel the true warmth.

Categories: Oldies
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Wiggly Wigging Teeth

February 23, 2008

Nails on a chalkboard – annoying just on principle.

American Idol auditions – hysterical if not lame.

Bleeding wounds – pretty fascinating from a medical perspective (assuming I’m not the afflicted).

Elementary school kids with teeth dangling, randomly falling from their faces – Dear God, Bring Me A Xanax! It seems *this* is the thing that runs chills down my spine. I never knew this about myself. I certainly don’t remember having this problem during my own childhood.

The Kid is 7 next week and has now lost 4 teeth. The first 3 were your standard, run-of-the-mill loose tooth gets looser and one day falls out completely. We ceremoniously place it in the felt bag and The Tooth Fairy handles the rest with no problem. Well, that is, assuming no one noticed her cringing every time The Kid demonstrated the current state of the tooth by wiggling it with her tongue.

As her mom, I want to join in her excitement and be happy for this major life stage. Really I do. But just the thought of that tooth just hanging in her mouth is too much to bear. Even worse is the thought (let alone the sight or sound) of her attempting to chew food, only to bite down on the dangling tooth. This literally makes me shudder and turn away. But I’ve learned to deal. That is, until tonight.

Tonight, I looked at The Kid while eating dinner only to notice that the 1 tooth top gap in the front of her mouth had doubled in size. I was completely unprepared for this. There was no build-up, no anticipatory tooth wiggling for weeks preceding. No, tonight it fell out while eating stromboli at the dinner table. This is not a food typically hazardous to first grade teeth. Not only did it fall unexpectedly, it was then mistaken for a chunk of broccoli and swallowed without notice. Now I had to sit at the table and be excited for The Kid while staring at 3/4 of a steak and cheese sub (which I can’t possibly stomach with the mental image of the fate of the tooth running through my head). To make matters worse, I now have to contemplate how this can be explained to The Tooth Fairy. I don’t think the parenting books ever mentioned this scenario.

We decided The Tooth Fairy will get a picture and a letter explaining the situation. I, on the other hand, get to pay for this experience. Yet again.

I’ll have you know, I shuddered through this entire blog post. It’s only fair that you too can share in my spine-tingling evening. What makes you shiver? I promise not to laugh if promise not to point your periodontally-challenged children my way.

Categories: Ponderings
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Comments: 4 Comments

Be Kind – Recycle.

February 23, 2008

This ought to keep you busy for a while. Once you get the hang of it, it’s not so tough. Mind the wind and be glad you’re not out in the bitter cold this fine Saturday afternoon.

Throwing Paper

My best is 7 in a row. How about you?

Categories: Procrastinating

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Can you spare a little change?

February 12, 2008

Recently, a road I use daily on my commute to work installed a 4-way stop at an intersection fraught with problems. It’s been there now for several months and causes delays both coming in the morning and going in the evening, but I’m most frustrated by the other drivers I encounter here.

I’ve been watching closely and determined the pattern. In the evening, the traffic obeys the rules of the 4-way stop, taking turns and yielding to the vehicle to the right. On the morning commute, however, vehicles do NOT adhere to the traffic rules. There are always complete stops, but we instead yield to the left. Occasionally, I attempt to restore order by taking my rightful turn. This probably angers the vehicle to my left (though I’ve never been honked at) and I wonder if my attempts are at all fruitful. Do the remaining cars commence yielding to the right? If so, am I the reason the evening traffic is “in order”?

Today, as I came upon my turn at the stop sign, I decided not to buck the system. As I passed through on my (wrongful) turn, I was reminded of the Gandhi quote “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” and for a brief moment, regretted my decision to go with the flow. Guilt quickly passed as I realized I was running a bit behind because I took the time to vote before work. Today, I’ll settle for participating in the selection of a presidential candidate — battle with the stop sign can resume tomorrow. Too much change in one day isn’t always good.

Categories: Ponderings

Comments: 4 Comments

What can I say?

February 3, 2008

I’m a choosy mom.

Choosy Moms

Trust me, I realize how innocent and adorable he looks. Don’t be fooled.

At one point this weekend, I had to leave him with the jar of peanut butter (which is his personal jar) just to attend to the couch he spent all weekend trying to explore. See, he used to be small enough to crawl under it and eventually come back out when he was good and ready. So we blocked off that half of the room. Now that he’s learned to jump the gate (he apparently power-lifts Razz while I’m gone all day leaving him with amazing upper body strength), I moved the gates in the rec room to allow them more freedom. This provides renewed access to the couch. Unfortunately, he’s significantly larger than he was in September — about 2-3 times the size. So with a head start and enough pushing, he can get under the couch, BUT he can’t get out. So began the quest to keep the brilliantly stupid, insanely stubborn, and downright neurotic ferret out from under the Couch of Doom. (I know – we’re a match made in heaven.) There were periods when I thought it might be easier just to let him get stuck under there and deal with the backlash later. It would be less litter box cleaning for me – not necessarily a bad side effect.

But alas, I have a soft side and can’t fathom explaining to The Kid why the ferret smells funny and won’t come out from under the couch. I tried everything. Discouraging him, distraction by toys, using the “Bad Ferret/Unhappy Mommy” voice (it’s mean – trust me), time out, a squirt bottle (this was entertaining, but ineffective), not-so-gently placing him elsewhere in the room far away from the couch. Instead, I took a 2×4 to him. That’s right. I went to Lowe’s and bought lumber to block off the underside of the couch. So far, it’s worked. Don’t get me wrong, other uses for the 2×4 did go through my head. Lucky for him, he can’t move a piece of wood held down by a 300 pound couch so the other solutions were unnecessary overkill.

While installing the final touches to the miracle $3.86 blockade, I marveled at the fact that everyone has an exploitable downfall. For Blue, it’s a jar of peanut butter while I thwart his plans to battle the Couch of Doom and for me, it’s now a visit to Lowe’s on SuperBowl Sunday. Usually I can’t find someone there to help me to save my soul. Today, the entire Lowe’s employee population was falling over each other to help me.

That and chocolate. What can I say?

Categories: Ponderings
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