Assisted Procrastination

When ordering lunch today, my waiter ever so enthusiastically praised my lunch selection with an “Excellent choice!” (a cheese steak sub and fries at a sports bar). This led me to wonder, what item on the menu would I have to order to get the exact opposite response? Or are waiters just trained to commend patrons on their selections regardless of what they order in the same way a parent applauds a potty-training child for making it to the bathroom even if they don’t quite hit the potty?

And did I just manage to equate ordering lunch at a sports bar to being potty trained? Because the two are nothing alike. After successfully “pottying” I am entitled to a jelly bean and there were NO jelly beans at the end of my meal!