The Rules As Articulated by Dave
How appropriate that this article would be sent to me today of all days. This just reinforces what I’ve known all along. Additionally, I think the rules detailed apply directly to traffic as well. Thank you Dave for articulating what everyone should already know!
P.S. – Women should replace “John Cusack” in all references to Halle Berry. Even for #10.
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Assisted Procrastination 
October 7, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Amen. Sometimes you just have to say it again. And I’d totally be cool with John Cusack cutting the line. Especially if I got to see his…
October 7, 2008 at 3:17 pm
OMG! I cannot believe that you of all people just went there! I’m offensive, but you, you’re so dignified. At this moment I can’t even articulate how proud I am of you!
October 7, 2008 at 3:26 pm
What like you don’t want to see what’s on his shopping list?
October 7, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Great rules!
October 8, 2008 at 8:59 am
AYE! The rules are great! I love Dave Barry… something about him makes me work harder on my own sarcasm, so that one day maybe I can be as sarcastic as he.
I may allow Cusack to cut in line — only maybe though. He can def. talk in the theater. Johnny Depp, on the other hand, can do just about whatever he’d like (except pee on the seat w/ out cleaning up after himself)
October 9, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I find it sad that I have to reguarly scold my friends on this one. They violate the movie theater line rules often, and get upset with me when I refuse to assist them with it. Tough cookies, bub. I got here an hour early, you can wait.