The Right Way to Grill Cheese

While I don’t want to ever blog directly about work, I do think there are many environmental elements of my workplace that make PRIME fodder for blogging. My local cafeteria, specifically, offers a wealth of content. Besides their numerous failed efforts to kill me over the years, they are incredibly adept at doing the simplest of things completely wrong.

For example, today I’m still battling the cold that has plagued me since late last week, yet I needed to make an appearance in the office and so dragged my sniffling butt out of bed and into work. I was delighted to learn that the soup of the day is Creamy Tomato Basil (I have accepted that they will never serve something as simple as tomato soup). I was eager to compliment the soup offering with an old-fashioned grilled cheese sandwich. [Next to chicken noodle soup, this combo is the best illness-relief offering imaginable]. So I asked the always grumpy short-order cook for a grilled cheese sandwich assuming everyone knows how a grilled cheese sandwich should be. These are the basics, folks. No need to ask questions – anyone who wants a twist on their grilled cheese will request it.

  1. No, I don’t want tomato on it. Does anyone really want warm tomato on a cheesy comfort food sandwich??
  2. Use white bread. WHITE bread. Don’t make me ask for it twice – this is the default.
  3. American cheese ONLY. Again, if someone wants something else, it’ll be specified. Go with the default in all other instances.
  4. Do NOT cut the sandwich on a diagonal and it needs to be cut into 4 pieces. Did I mention this is a comfort food? Four (4) squares.

So, because I felt like crap and was in no mood to return to argue, I ate my grilled cheddar cheese, 2 triangle sandwich at my desk all the while muttering. One day, the cafeteria people will really piss me off while I’m actually IN there and I pity the person who gets the wrath of my pent up cafeteria frustrations.

And for those of you who were wondering, I now buy my morning coffees elsewhere because I (stupidly) assumed it was common knowledge (and food safety mandated) that workers DO NOT lick the spoons they use to stir customers’ beverages.

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6 Comments on “The Right Way to Grill Cheese”

  1. V Says:

    They licked the SPOON? I’m never getting a coffee there — not that the opportunity presents itself all that often…

    And if you are ever in my house for a grilled cheese, it will be cut in two (2) at a slight diagonal. It will also be Farmhouse White Bread, and Kraft American slices (3 slices per sandwich for full coverage).

  2. Six Says:

    While I prefer my grilled cheese with a slightly different variation, I do understand that my preferences are not the default and it is my responsibility to request them individually. Otherwise, I am getting white bread w/ American cheese, toasted until cheese melts… that is it.

    My only disagreement with your entry is that the default of a sandwich cut is diagonal. I have never (outside of someone’s house once) had a sandwich cut in any other direction.

  3. Christy Says:

    OK, so what if I concede the direction of the cut and stand firm on the other factors which directly affect the flavor and consistency of the sandwich?

    I would also like to point out that this is a SPECIFIC type of sandwich and cannot be judged by lumping it into a general “sandwich” category. In general, sandwiches can be cut many ways and use various breads and cheeses to offer variety. “Grilled cheese sandwiches” are a standard unto themselves.

  4. Six Says:

    I will concede that I am not sure how similar the questions were when asking my non-scientific question on the direction of the cutting preference. And, I should disclose that I had to repeat the statistics class in college for not doing well the first time. Perhaps this is part of the reason.

    I also still agree that white bread, american cheese toasted until the cheese is melted is still the “standard” grilled cheese. If nothing is specified, this is what you get.

    either way, I hope your next grilled cheese is enjoyable and cut into the size and shape you prefer.

  5. Matt Says:

    The “spoon” incident was similar to why I stopped going to a particular Dairy Queen. While creating one of those fantastic dipped cones, the shambling corpse that was making my cone decided to lick the extra chocolate off off her fingers and hands, then use said fingers in the “sculpting” of my cone.

  6. Christy Says:

    OMG! That’s disgusting. At least in my situation, I could deceive myself into believing that he hadn’t yet licked the spoon that day. Now I have yet another reason to not like Dairy Queen (#1 being that I don’t like vanilla ice cream and no matter how much you argue it, adding chocolate syrup is NOT the same).


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