Over dinner last night, my husband and I were discussing an acquaintance of his who recently became injured and is now medically prohibited from playing certain sports. The acquaintance has torn a muscle somewhere between his buttocks and calf. I can only imagine how such an injury might affect everyday life making certain common movements quite painful. This is not something I envy or would enjoy as a subject for ridicule. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for HOW he received this injury. You see, he did this while bowling.
Doctor’s have informed him that there is no medical way to fix this injury and he will instead have to refrain from bowling for several years later returning for another examination to determine if he will ever be able to return to the “sport.”
This got me to thinking. Considering I don’t believe bowling counts as an actual sport, I wonder about other narrowly qualifying “sports” and the appropriate level of embarrassment one should endure should they ever receive a life altering injury from playing said sport. My current list includes the following:
- Bowling
- Golf (this may cause backlash, but it is and activity and NOT a sport in my book)
- Ping-pong
- Shuffleboard
- Fishing
- Foosball
- Badminton
- Air Hockey (I’ll admit to innumerable personal injuries from this one – feel free to laugh, but know that I’ll beat you unmercifully should you attempt to play me)
- Tabletop football
- Any Wii game
- Competitive eating or any competition featured on the Food Network
I’m sure I’ve missed quite a few so I ask what you would like to see added to the list and do you also have an injury or scar to show for it? I promise to laugh only at the means by which you received the injury . . . And all while I go get the box of jungle animal tattoo band-aids you can use to cover the wound in the dignified manner it warrants.
Assisted Procrastination 
The Peanut Gallery