More Stuff I’ve Learned (and things the public needs to know)

  1. It is officially cheaper to buy a gallon of milk than it is a gallon of gas. I’ve decided to sell my car and buy a calf. It will be cheaper to fill and will likely be a faster means of commuting to work than sitting in traffic. If I keep it in the garage, the HOA will never know.

  2. Women – Bras are underwear and therefore should NOT be intentionally displayed to the public. (I already knew this one, but after my recent visit to an amusement park, thought it desperately needed repeating). A cami (or camisole) is not an adequate substitute for a top when used as a standalone article of clothing. It is an item to be layered under another top. The only caveat to this rule is if the cami comes with a “built-in” bra (sufficient to meet the individual woman’s needs) or is worn with a strapless (and functional) bra. I saw entirely too many people wearing camis as tops displaying bra straps used as coordinating colors. Again, bras are underwear. In this lesson, I would especially like to call out a woman I saw this weekend who was not only wearing a cami with a bra underneath, she was also quite large (obese) and her bra was *completely* ineffective. So ineffective that it was obvious it was many sizes too small and her nipples were visible above the top edge. Lucky for us, she had that micro-cami to hold everything in check — at least until she moved. Scary.

  3. Men – boxers are underwear. I don’t want to see your underwear. Pants have WAISTBANDS that should cover the waistband of your boxers. The waist of your shorts/pants should NEVER fall below your boxers and especially should not be suspended below your butt as a means of displaying said boxers. If the print is that great, buy it in a shirt.

  4. I learned that I still don’t like amusement park rides that plummet. This includes roller coasters. I blame my father who introduced me to my first roller coaster (and I mean FIRST EVER of any size, speed, or age category) by putting us in the first car of the Rebel Yell at the age of 9.

  5. The calf/shin muscles that are sore after spending 3 days walking around an uphill-only theme park (I kid you not – I think they flip the park periodically throughout the day so as to maintain the constant uphill walk) are the same muscles necessary to operate the bass drum when playing Rock Band. While not a sport, I’m definitely feeling the burn in my legs from playing that game and had to stop after only a few songs last night. Being the trooper and music-enthusiast that I am, I powered through. It only took 4 tries on Enter Sandman to wrap for the evening – note that I only failed out once. Get off My Lawn!!!! continues to rock (the family band)!

  6. Bald eagles are absolutely enormous. I knew they were big (I’ve been told by others), but seeing them up close was an amazing experience. They are absolutely beautiful creatures.
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